$CATS
CLOCK IN
MEMO #0041
“THE MARKET DOES NOT CARE THAT YOU ARE TIRED.”
— RISK, ALLEGEDLY
BUY A CAT. IT WORKS. YOU DON'T.
You run an office on Hood. Cats work there. The building pays 147,000 $CATS in wages every day, split between every cat in every office — and you keep the pay of yours.
CONTRACT ADDRESS / CA
NOT DEPLOYED
published at launch
Not launched yet. No token, no contract, nothing to buy. This page exists so you are not last.
NO TEAM ALLOCATION
NO WAY TO CHANGE IT
THE PAYROLL
The building pays wages every day. Your cats collect them. You own the cats, so you keep the pay — that is the whole game. Every other office is collecting from the same pot.
147,000
$CATS in wages, every day
Fixed. Nobody sets it, nobody can raise it, and it halves on its own
every 30 days.
It is split between every cat in every office. Here is the same cat — SIX SCREENS — as the place fills up:
Same cat. Same wages. The only thing that changed is how many cats the other offices hired.
The payroll doesn't grow. The number of cats does.
WHO YOU CAN HIRE
Seven kinds of worker. A cat with six screens earns more than a cat with a cracked phone, and costs more to hire. There is no order to follow — hire the expensive one first if you can afford it, hire twelve of the cheap one if you can't. The last one is not a cat at all.
HOW YOU
MAKE MONEY
- HIRE A CAT. Any of the seven, any number, any order.
- IT GETS PAID. Every second, at a rate you can check before you hire.
- KEEP THE PAY. Cash it out, or spend it hiring more cats.
This is not a trading bot. Nothing here wins or loses on the market, and no strategy is involved. The wage bill is fixed by the contract and split by how many cats you have working against how many everybody else does. A better cat takes a bigger slice. Every cat anybody hires makes every slice thinner, which is why the first week is not like the fifth. The reward halves every 30 days, forever, and nobody can stop it.
THE NUMBERS
All four are in the contract. None of them have a setter.
- 9,000,000
- $CATS total, fixed, no mint function exists
- 98%
- goes into the earning pool and can only leave by being earned
- 0%
- kept by the team. Not vested, not locked — zero
- 30 days
- between halvings, forever, on a clock nobody can move
There are no admin functions. That is the whole trust story, and it cuts both ways: if we shipped a bug, it is permanent.
DO THE ARITHMETIC
Real numbers, including the part where it stops paying. Move the day slider far enough and it says NEVER. We left that in.
—you pay
—per day, at first
—days to get your money back
—return after 30 days
INTERNAL MEMOS
Leaked from the building. Management denies everything.
MEMO #4512
“THE STACK IS NOT A CAT. PLEASE STOP ASKING.”
— FACILITIES
MEMO #0000
“WE TOLD YOU WHEN TO STOP BUYING. IT IS IN THE CALCULATOR.”
— COMPLIANCE, PROBABLY
MEMO #0158
“THE COFFEE MACHINE ON FLOOR THREE IS NOT A FEATURE REQUEST.”
— FACILITIES, AGAIN
MEMO #0062
“NOBODY IS COMING TO RESTRUCTURE THIS. THERE IS NO ADMIN KEY.”
— LEGAL, RESIGNED
MEMO #1400
“IF YOUR CAT STOPS LOOKING AT THE SCREENS, THAT IS PROMOTION.”
— HR
BRING FRIENDS.
TAKE A CUT.
5% of everything they ever earn. Forever.
Paid out of the pool, not out of their pocket — the person you brought in loses nothing. Most games pay you once. This one pays you for as long as they keep playing.
WHY YOU CAN LOSE MONEY
Everyone can win in $CATS. Not everyone can win in dollars.
The pool pays out on a schedule that halves every 30 days. Your slice also shrinks every time somebody else hires a cat. Both of those work against you, and they never stop.
Buy early enough and the arithmetic is on your side. Buy late enough and it is not, and no amount of holding fixes that. Our own calculator prints NEVER past a certain day. We simulated it before launch and published the result instead of hiding it.
We are telling you this because you would work it out anyway, and because a game that needs you not to do the math is a game that already decided you are the exit.
THE EARLIEST OFFICES TAKE THE BIGGEST CUT
Not because we are generous — because the payroll is fixed and there are fewer of you to split it. That is arithmetic, and it is in the contract.
FOLLOW ON X
Launch time announced there first. No email list, no spam, no presale.