MEMO #0041
“THE MARKET DOES NOT CARE THAT YOU ARE TIRED.”
— RISK, ALLEGEDLY
BUY A CAT. IT TRADES. YOU DON'T.
Finally, something on Robinhood that goes up. Seven floors of cats working the market. Buy a floor, it earns $CATS while you sleep.
CONTRACT ADDRESS / CA
NOT DEPLOYED
published at launch
Not launched yet. No token, no contract, nothing to buy. This page exists so you are not last.
NO TEAM ALLOCATION
NO WAY TO CHANGE IT
THE BUILDING
You start outside on the curb with a cracked phone. Then you buy your way up, one floor at a time. The higher you go, the more screens there are and the less daylight. On the top floor there is no cat.
HOW YOU
MAKE MONEY
- BUY A FLOOR. Floors cost $CATS. Higher floor, bigger slice.
- IT TRADES. Every second. While you sleep. You do nothing.
- COLLECT OR CLIMB. Cash out, or buy the next floor up.
Every floor takes a slice of the same 147,000 $CATS the building earns each day. A higher floor takes a bigger slice. Every floor anybody buys makes every slice thinner, which is why the first week is not like the fifth. The reward halves every 30 days, forever, and nobody can stop it.
THE NUMBERS
All four are in the contract. None of them have a setter.
- 9,000,000
- $CATS total, fixed, no mint function exists
- 98%
- goes into the earning pool and can only leave by being earned
- 0%
- kept by the team. Not vested, not locked — zero
- 30 days
- between halvings, forever, on a clock nobody can move
There are no admin functions. That is the whole trust story, and it cuts both ways: if we shipped a bug, it is permanent.
DO THE ARITHMETIC
Real numbers, including the part where it stops paying. Move the day slider far enough and it says NEVER. We left that in.
—you pay
—per day, at first
—days to get your money back
—return after 30 days
INTERNAL MEMOS
Leaked from the building. Management denies everything.
MEMO #4512
“FLOOR SEVEN HAS NO CAT ON IT. PLEASE STOP ASKING.”
— FACILITIES
MEMO #0000
“WE TOLD YOU WHEN TO STOP BUYING. IT IS IN THE CALCULATOR.”
— COMPLIANCE, PROBABLY
MEMO #0158
“THE COFFEE MACHINE ON FLOOR THREE IS NOT A FEATURE REQUEST.”
— FACILITIES, AGAIN
MEMO #0062
“NOBODY IS COMING TO RESTRUCTURE THIS. THERE IS NO ADMIN KEY.”
— LEGAL, RESIGNED
MEMO #1400
“IF YOUR CAT STOPS LOOKING AT THE SCREENS, THAT IS PROMOTION.”
— HR
THE LEGENDS
They earn exactly what their floor earns — not one token more. What they are good at is being seen. Hold one and your referral cut goes up for as long as you keep it. There are almost none of them.
BRING FRIENDS.
TAKE A CUT.
5% of everything they ever earn. Forever.
Paid out of the pool, not out of their pocket — the person you brought in loses nothing. Most games pay you once. This one pays you for as long as they keep playing.
WHY YOU CAN LOSE MONEY
Everyone can win in $CATS. Not everyone can win in dollars.
The pool pays out on a schedule that halves every 30 days. Your slice also shrinks every time somebody else buys a floor. Both of those work against you, and they never stop.
Buy early enough and the arithmetic is on your side. Buy late enough and it is not, and no amount of holding fixes that. Our own calculator prints NEVER past a certain day. We simulated it before launch and published the result instead of hiding it.
We are telling you this because you would work it out anyway, and because a game that needs you not to do the math is a game that already decided you are the exit.
THE FIRST FLOORS ARE THE CHEAPEST FLOORS
That is not marketing. It is how the curve works, and the curve is in the contract.
FOLLOW ON X
Launch time announced there first. No email list, no spam, no presale.